Someone told me my clothes look gay

I said, “well ya, they just came out of the closet this morning.”

sextradite:

ridge:

IM REALLY TIRED OF PARENTS THINKING THAT EVERYONE ON THE INTERNET IS A PREDATOR 

ikr wanna meet up and talk about it so where do you live?

(via lohanthony)

youngcasanovab:

taint3ed:

I’M FUCKING SCREAMING LMAOOO

😂😂😂

(via laugh-addict)

“Man goes to Marks & Spencers to buy his wife a maternity bra…. Shop assistant ask`s “What bust?”. Man says “The fucking condom”!!!”
“I got tasered picking up my friend from the airport today. Apparently security doesn’t like it when you shout, “Hi Jack!””

Honestly, this is better than a good morning text. It’s 4am and you’re thinking about me.

I’m never not reblogging this because this means so much more than any other post I’ve seen and ugh.

(via kyhuk)

My friends trying to motivate me into productivity

(via australiansanta)

suluboo:

relationship tip #78: ‘babe’ and ‘baby’ are cliche and outdated. try a fun new nickname such as ‘lieutenant’ instead 

(via kyhuk)

kushdrinker:

how to give a handjob:

1. grab boner mid-shaft

2. pump until confetti is released

3. party

(via lohanthony)

what? when is this coming out!! what? when is this coming out!! what? when is this coming out!! what? when is this coming out!! what? when is this coming out!! what? when is this coming out!! what? when is this coming out!! what? when is this coming out!!